Funny Kid Jokes
Son Joke
I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!" "I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?"
Children Joke
At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop. Finally, she blurted out, "I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!" The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."
Quiz Joke
Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.” “An iPod?” she guessed. “Close,” I said. “But what I’m thinking of is a little smaller.” “A Shuffle!”
Spider Man Joke
During Sunday school, the substitute teacher asked my four-year-old what his name was. "Spider-Man," said my son. "No, I mean your real name," pressed the teacher. My son apologized. "Oh, I"m sorry. It"s Peter Parker."
Peacock Joke
The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it. That evening, he couldn’t wait to tell his father: "Dad, guess what! I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!"
Santa Joke
I love playing Santa at the mall. But parents often have trouble getting young children to sit on my knee. It took a lot of coaxing for one little girl to perch there, so I got straight to the point. "What do you want most of all for Christmas?" I asked. She answered, "Down!"
Mother Joke
Last Thanksgiving, my niece came home with her school project: a beautiful autumnal leaf with the words "I am thankful for my mommy" printed on it. Her eyes tearing, my sister said, "This means so much to me." Her daughter nodded. "I wanted to put ‘Hannah Montana,’ but my teacher wouldn’t let me."
Bike Joke
The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels, I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!" He nodded but still rode straight into a bush. "Why didn’t you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up. "You said if I did, the bike would break."
Book Joke
A little boy went to the library to check out a book titled Comprehensive Guide for Mothers. "Is this for your mother?" the librarian asked. "No," said the boy. "So why are you checking it out?" "Because I started collecting moths last week."
Bookmark Joke
To commemorate his first visit to our library, I gave a six-year-old boy a bookmark. More familiar with electronic gadgets than old-school tools, he had no clue how it worked. So I demonstrated by placing it between two pages, then closing the book. "When you start reading again, voilà!" I said, opening the book to my bookmarked page. "Wow!" he said. "That’s cool!"
Voice Joke
My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect. "Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."
Science Joke
In a science class, 3 worms were placed into 3 separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: The first worm in alcohol ---dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead. The 3rd worm in soil --- alive.!! So the science teacher asked the class --- "What can you learn from this experiment.?" Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink ALCOHOL and smoke , you won't have worms in your stomach". CHEERS to Johnny.
This post offers some of the finest and clean funny kid jokes of all time.
I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!" "I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?"
Children Joke
At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop. Finally, she blurted out, "I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!" The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."
Quiz Joke
Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.” “An iPod?” she guessed. “Close,” I said. “But what I’m thinking of is a little smaller.” “A Shuffle!”
Spider Man Joke
During Sunday school, the substitute teacher asked my four-year-old what his name was. "Spider-Man," said my son. "No, I mean your real name," pressed the teacher. My son apologized. "Oh, I"m sorry. It"s Peter Parker."
Peacock Joke
The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it. That evening, he couldn’t wait to tell his father: "Dad, guess what! I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!"
Santa Joke
I love playing Santa at the mall. But parents often have trouble getting young children to sit on my knee. It took a lot of coaxing for one little girl to perch there, so I got straight to the point. "What do you want most of all for Christmas?" I asked. She answered, "Down!"
Mother Joke
Last Thanksgiving, my niece came home with her school project: a beautiful autumnal leaf with the words "I am thankful for my mommy" printed on it. Her eyes tearing, my sister said, "This means so much to me." Her daughter nodded. "I wanted to put ‘Hannah Montana,’ but my teacher wouldn’t let me."
Bike Joke
The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels, I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!" He nodded but still rode straight into a bush. "Why didn’t you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up. "You said if I did, the bike would break."
Book Joke
A little boy went to the library to check out a book titled Comprehensive Guide for Mothers. "Is this for your mother?" the librarian asked. "No," said the boy. "So why are you checking it out?" "Because I started collecting moths last week."
Bookmark Joke
To commemorate his first visit to our library, I gave a six-year-old boy a bookmark. More familiar with electronic gadgets than old-school tools, he had no clue how it worked. So I demonstrated by placing it between two pages, then closing the book. "When you start reading again, voilà!" I said, opening the book to my bookmarked page. "Wow!" he said. "That’s cool!"
Voice Joke
My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect. "Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."
Science Joke
In a science class, 3 worms were placed into 3 separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: The first worm in alcohol ---dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead. The 3rd worm in soil --- alive.!! So the science teacher asked the class --- "What can you learn from this experiment.?" Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink ALCOHOL and smoke , you won't have worms in your stomach". CHEERS to Johnny.
This post offers some of the finest and clean funny kid jokes of all time.