Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Funny Black Jokes

Immigrants Joke Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. "Which part did you get?" Offensive Joke "Madam, your son just called me ugly!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..." Horrible Joke One man's trash is another Man's treasure? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted. Death Joke Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet." Dog J
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Funny Jokes Of The Day

Bar Joke Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“ Beer Joke If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster. President Joke I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!" Chicken Joke I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Mosquito Joke Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep! Astronaut Joke “I want to be an astronaut!” - “I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?” - “Exactly, so no cha
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Something Funny

Shop Joke In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.” Shop assistant: “Cupcake?” Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.” Age Joke ● At 40 years, "highly educated" and "less educated" are the same. (Less educated people may even earn more money) ● At 50 years, "beauty" and "ugly" are the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. can no more be hidden.) ● At 60 years, "high position" and "low position" are the same. (After retirement, even a peon will avoid looking at his boss) ● At 70 years, "big house" and "small house" are the same. (Joints degeneration, hard to move, only require a little space to sit .) ● At 80 years, "have money" and "no money" are the same. (Even when you want to spend money, you don't know where to spend) ● At 90 years, "Sleeping" and "waking u
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