Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Funny Clean Jokes Short

Aunt Joke My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?” We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals. Fish Joke I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. Grandpa Joke Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday." Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?" Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer." Friend, "But you can't die of that!" Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we had to shoot him." Doctor Joke Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?" "The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live." "And the bad one?" "I’ve been trying to r...
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Funny Jokes For Kids

Veterans Joke When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?" Class Joke My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name. "Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained. Daughter Joke Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?" Mother Joke I...
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Best Man Speech Jokes The comical kid jokes from comic funny funny to amusing funny clean one liners that make excellent dumb short jokes like superior most funniest short jokes with more fine short funny jokes humor and best man speech jokes. For more jokes go to:  LIST OF JOKES Kid Jokes Poet, dramatist, novelist, and politician, and for that footnote the most notable figure in occurring to date Norwegian archives-- was born, in Dec 1832, at Kline within the north of Kingdom of Norway. His father was pastor at Kline, a in the cut off from away off village within the sterna district, some sixty miles south of Trondheim; a lonely spot, whose look and surroundings Bjornson higher almost the order of delineate in one in all his hasty sketches ("Blacken"). The pastor's house lay so high in financial description to the "field" that corn wouldn't mount happening concerning its meadows, where the relentless northern winte...
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